HEMMORHOIDS????

Osteens go to court over airline incident Flight attendant alleges pastor's wife assaulted her in 2005

By BRIAN ROGERS Copyright 2008 Houston Chronicle Aug. 6, 2008, 12:07AM

A flight attendant who says she lost her faith and suffered a hemorrhoidal flare-up after being assaulted by Victoria Osteen will head to court today seeking a jury to hear her lawsuit against the wife of superstar evangelist Joel Osteen.

Sharon Brown accuses Victoria Osteen, co-pastor of Lakewood Church, of throwing her against an airplane bathroom door and elbowing her in the chest during a confrontation on a Continental Airlines flight to Vail, Colo., on Dec. 19, 2005.

Osteen's attorney and a spokesman for Lakewood Church adamantly deny the allegations.

"It's absolutely insane," said Rusty Hardin, Osteen's attorney.

In a pre-trial frenzy of finger pointing, lawyers for both women say airplane passengers and Continental employees will testify it was the other woman who was out of control.

The incident began after the Osteens and their children boarded a Continental jet in Houston for a flight to Vail, Colo.

Brown's attorney, Reginald McKamie, said Victoria Osteen became irate after ordering a flight attendant to clean up liquid that was spilled on the armrest of her first-class seat.

"One thing led to another and that's when Mrs. Osteen assaulted Continental flight attendant Sharon Brown," McKamie said. "She threw her against the lavatory door and she elbowed her in her breast."

McKamie said Brown wants an apology and wants to punish Victoria Osteen with punitive damages amounting to 10 percent of her net worth.

"She was traumatized by it, the whole event," McKamie said. "She was seriously injured by Victoria Osteen's conduct."

In a deposition taken for the case, Brown also said the episode damaged her faith. Because of the status Victoria Osteen has as a spiritual leader, Brown now questions the legitimacy of other spiritual leaders including those at her own church, she said under oath.

According to court documents, Brown claims that she suffers from anxiety and hemorrhoids because of the incident. She is also suing Osteen for medical expenses for counseling.

McKamie declined to discuss the evidence he plans to present at trial, but said medical professionals will testify on Brown's behalf.

McKamie noted that Osteen paid a $3,000 fine from the Federal Aviation Administration for interfering with a flight. He said the FAA's findings vindicate Brown and that he expects to prevail when the facts are heard by jurors.

"Victoria Osteen was out of control," McKamie said.

Hardin and Lakewood spokesman Don Illoff scoffed at McKamie's account. Illoff is also Victoria Osteen's brother.

"The flight attendant went bonkers. She flipped out, acted rashly and now wants to be paid for it," Hardin said.

Hardin noted that Brown claims she suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder, an emotional disorder most recently diagnosed in Iraq War veterans.

"It's a silly lawsuit," he said.

Because the Osteens have tried to put the incident behind them, they didn't contest the FAA's findings and paid the fine without an admission of guilt, Hardin said.

Joel Osteen, who is expected to testify, decided to take the family off the plane and take another flight, Hardin said.

"It was their idea to leave the plane," Hardin said. He disputed early reports that the Osteens were asked to leave the plane.

"Victoria never raised her voice," Illoff said.

"And they left on their own. Law enforcement was never involved."

After they decided to exit, representatives from Continental apologized to the Osteens, Illoff said.

Lawyers on both sides will attempt to seat a jury today and present pre-trial motions.

This article ran in The Houston Chronicle today, and it is just too amazing not to to blog about!

Anyone who lives within a 200 mile radius of Houston,  as well as anyone who has ever watched TV on a Sunday morning,  has certainly heard of Lakewood Church,  founded by the late "Pastor" John Osteen and his wife Dodie.  It has now been passed along to his son Joel and his Barbie Doll wife Victoria, aka "Thumper Spice".

So, as the article says,  several years ago they boarded a Continental plane to Vail, Colorado ( no doubt to spread their faith and good works to the poor starving masses gathered around the ski slopes,  hoping to catch a morsel of food falling from the chair lifts.)  Apparently Vickie spilled her cocktail,  and the space waitress didn't clean it up fast enough, so Vickie went all diva on her ass.  Don't judge- we've all done it! Joel and Vick settled with the airline and the FAA and tried to put it behind them.  I'm sure they prayed that the image of their empire would not be tarnished by the incident.  So the flight attendant decides to sue.  I get it.  They are rich.  Many don't like them.  The rich pastor lady shoved the poor,  hardworking flight attendant,  who is whizzing around the globe trying to earn enough money to feed her belbas.  Miss G is not here to judge the lawsuit.  We elect old white guys in unflattering black robes to do that.  But, c'mon- imagine the meeting between this "client" and her "attorney".

Client:  "I want to sue the Osteens for all they're worth because Vickie pushed me."

Lawyer: "You're going to have to prove that she caused you damage."

Client: "I don't believe in God anymore."

Lawyer: "Did you before?"

Client: "Can you prove I didn't?"

Lawyer: "Good point.  Did you suffer any physical damage?"

Client: "I'm sure I can come up with something.  "

Lawyer: "It has to be something believeable,  that will invoke sympathy in the jury."

Client: "I had hemmorhoids last week.  She must have caused those."

Lawyer: "Perfect! We're gonna smoke 'em!"

GIVE ME A BREAK! HEMMORHOIDS?!  Of all the stress-related injuries one could come up with, the best this bitch could pull out of her ass was hemmorhoids! Headaches? TMJ? Paranoia? Nightmares? Phobias? IBS? No, let's use hemmorhoids- the jury will really go for that! I might have believed that Vickie lost control and made an ass of herself if the girl hade been able to come up with, say, a head injury,  or a bruised internal organ,  or maybe even a little psychological something that she could pay a quack to diagnose.  But HEMMORHOIDS??  That's just ridiculous!!! The whole thought that our courts will be wasting time sorting this out is giving Miss Ginger a yeast infection!

 

Tags: Joel Osteen, Victoria Osteen, Lakewood Church, Continental Airlines, hemmorhoids