How to be politically correct with your partner

 

 

How to be politically correct with your partner 

he is not a BAD COOK - he is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE.
he does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY - he is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED.
he is not CONCEITED - he is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES.
he does not GAIN WEIGHT - he is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER.
he is not DUMB - he is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
he is not TOO SKINNY - he is SKELETALLY PROMINENT.
he does not HATE TELEVISED SPORTS - he is ATHLETICALLY IGNORANT.
he does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME - he commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE.
he does not GO SHOPPING - he is MALL FLUENT.
he is not an AIR HEAD - he is REALITY IMPAIRED.
he does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - he gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
he does not get FAT or CHUBBY - he achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY.
he does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP - he has reached COSMETIC SATURATION.
he does not NAG YOU - he becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE