I can't wait to tell you what happened to Miss G today! But I will wait, because chronology is important to a good story!
We steated today with breakfast in our rooms, and then headed off to see Miss G's friend Liz at Buckingham Palace. Miss G instisted that I phone ahead to make sure Liz had "fresh" guards on duty, because Miss G can't bear the smell of a man who has been working! Sheepishly I phoned in the request, and have to admit when we arrived it appeared that fresh guards were promptly dispatched!
Once in place, we informed them that Miss G was here to see the Queen, but apparently those big furry hats impair their hearing because they clearly didn't hear a word we said. Miss G insisted that I speak to a supervisor, so I sent for one and waited for what seemd to be hours before he arrived.
There seemed to be a lot of confusion about Miss G's invitation, but before I had a chance to clear it up she whispers to me in a fake British accent "just stall them and I'll sneak in 'round back!" and off she ran! I wasn't exactly sure what to say, so I asked one of the Royal Police what cup size he wears when he does drag, and this was his reponse:
After Miss G ran off, Sonna and I decided to wander over to St. James to see if we could see more guards! We did,
and I 'm sure I heard the 3rd one in rank says
After our Royal visits at the palace, we took the tube over to the London Eye
to have a "look-see" and decide if it was tourist worthy. It clearly was, so Sonna got in the "Fast Track" line for immediate tickets because we knew Miss G would have no patience standing in line with all that humanity. It was fast, but we all know Miss G has no attention span, so before we got into a capsule she saw a sex shop off in the distance
and ran off toward it shrieking something about a "new boyfriend". I hollered back that the old one probably just needed new batteries, and that I had some back in the room, but she yelled something about "newer model" and kept running!
By this time Sonna and I were at the front of the line, so we got into the football-shaped capsule and started our ascent!
At the top of the ride we saw that it was high noon on Big Ben
and we knew we'd better find Miss G and get some lunch into her before she launched into a reign of terror across London's tourist district. We hunted her down and took the tube to back to Soho, where we took a gamble that the restaurant on the corner would be tolerant of Miss G and her entourage.
By the time we had lunch, Miss Sonna's ankle was clearly giving her trouble, so after a quick stop to buy some jewelry for Miss G
we headed over to a club that was across the street from our hotel.
As we sat and drank our beverages under the awning, a pigeon settled on the edge and decided to relieve itself all over Miss G's frock and shoes! She lept up and ran back across the street to the hotel, and that was the rest we saw of her all night!
After a couple of beers we met a quite cute chap who had recently moved to London by the name of Rick. He explained that he recently resigned from a job in the travel industry so they put him on "Gardner's Holilday", which basically means they paid him off not to come back because they were bitter that he left! He's of to university anyway, so he's enjoying his time off before he begins his studies this fall.
We also met Paul and Yves (Yves! Yves! Yves! That's all I hear! All about Yves!) and they are probably one of the cutest couples I have ever met!
Yves is a GM for Selfridge (the Bloomingdale's of London) and Paul does hair and makeup for the London film industry. We talked for hours about retail, beauty, and politics, but eventually the conversation headed south (below Yves' belt buckle) and after someone said something about 10" Sonna screamed "I don't do the pickle!" and we all decided it was time to leave!
Sonna and I grabbed some dinner across the street (Miss G had long lost herself in the crowd by then!)
and then headed out to a couple more clubs around the block! The first was totally S & M (Stand and Model!) so Ms. S and I quickly got bored.
So, we crossed the alley to an adorable little basement place called "Friendly Society".
It's been quite a day, but tomorrow is Friday so we figure we need a good night's sleep so we can be prepared for the wild weekend! Check back for more tomorrow! Love to all! ....g
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